To Be Human
by Silverone
Summary: In which Jiang Wei finds out that his teacher wasn't right about everything. Wei YanxJiang Wei. Mentions of character death.


**Title:** To Be Human  
**Pairing:** Wei YanxJiang Wei  
**Warnings:** Mentions character death, Wei Yan's ellipses abuse  
**Prompt:** 047. author's/artist's choice-You Understand Nothing  
**Author's Notes:** Wei Yan is unusually verbose in this because he's making an effort. Done for the warriorslash50 challenge for the warriorslash comm on livejournal.  
**Summary:** In which Jiang Wei finds out that his teacher wasn't right about everything.

It was strange how easy it had been to hide the tears that wanted to come. Jiang Wei hadn't cried when the Prime Minster fell at Wu Zhang plains. He hadn't cried when Yue Ying had offered him her shoulder, even as she tried to stifle her own grief. Somehow he had mustered the strength to make it through long journey home. At the state funeral where there was barely a dry eye in the city, he had been stoic and strong. But now, three weeks later, while he'd been spending a late night in the library pouring over maps, he'd collapsed over the desk in front of him, body wracked with choking sobs.

The grief was so overwhelming that Jiang Wei wasn't even aware of the hand on his shoulder until he felt a breath against his ear. "You… Okay?" Jumping away, clutching the map in his hand, Jiang Wei felt a surge of horror as he looked upon Wei Yan. Shoving the man away, Jiang Wei grabbed the maps, barely managing to avoid knocking over the lamp.

"What are you doing here?" He had never trusted Wei Yan. The man was defiant and had always questioned the Prime Minister's orders. After the deaths of Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang, the lurking darkness hiding behind that mask had risen to the surface and Jiang Wei knew it was only a matter of time before it lashed out at the rest of Shu.

Gesturing at couple of scrolls tucked under his arm, Wei Yan responded, "When… I… can't… sleep… I read." Wei Yan? Read? "You… crying?" At that, Jiang Wei flushed, angry that the lamplight did nothing to hide his weakness.

"No! I'm not! Now leave!"

"You… no… order me… around," there was none of Wei Yan's usual sullen defiance in his voice, which only irked Jiang Wei more.

"I am the Prime Minister!" That he should have to resort to a childish outburst in order to assert his authority only added to the insult. "I can order you around however I please," Fully expecting the man to lose his own temper as well, Jiang Wei was surprised to see Wei Yan cock his head to the side, looking thoughtful.

"Same… as… him…"

"That isn't a compliment coming from you."

"Wasn't. Think you… know people… better… than you… do…" Jiang Wei fell silent at that. "Sometimes… think wrong people… bad. Other times…think wrong people… not bad."

For a long time, Jiang Wei was silent as he turned over those words in his head. It didn't surprise him to hear such things coming from a childish man who had always resented the Prime Minister for ignoring his flawed advice.

"Are you saying the Master was flawed?" Jiang Wei's whisper held a hint of anger to it. Instead of raging back, Wei Yan gave Jiang Wei a look that could only be described as soft. Soft and Wei Yan didn't go together.

"No. Human." A rough finger was suddenly wiping away Jiang Wei's drying tears, cracked nails slightly scratching the skin. "Okay… to be human… but also… frustrating." Lurching away in revulsion, Jiang Wei rubbed at the skin furiously. And then stopped when he saw the hurt in the other man's eyes.

"Me… go now…"

Wei Yan walked past Jiang Wei, scrolls still tucked under his arm. For the first time, Jiang Wei noted how heavily the man's shoulders seemed, as if some unimaginable weight rode on top of them. The only other man in Shu who had expressed no grief over Zhuge Liang's death seemed as if he was being crushed. Before he left, Wei Yan suddenly looked over his shoulder at Jiang Wei, causing the young man's throat to catch.

"Good night, Wei Yan," Jiang Wei managed to respond, too afraid to make an actual apology. Wei Yan reached a hand out towards him, resting it on one of Jiang Wei's hands that had fisted around the maps he'd been clenching the whole time.

"Shouldn't… wreck maps… Zhuge Liang… made… pretty maps…" Wei Yan whispered as he gently pried Jiang Wei's fingers loose. Without another word, the General let go of his hand and left, leaving Jiang Wei to cry alone for the second time that night.


End file.
